The Joke's On Me
by Jfan7154
Summary: A day with the Joker and Harley Quinn. When all is said and done no one is happy. A sad one-shot that might affect your heart.  Disclaimer: DC owns all things Batman. Reviews and suggestions are always welcome.


_**Author's Note: **__I wrote this story last night and I hope it's good enough to tide everyone who's waiting on the next chapter of "Harley Quinn" over while I write it. I hope you enjoy and feedback is always great._

The Joke's On Me

Twenty miles outside of Gotham an amusement park could be found. Ragged and abandoned stood Willard's Wild World, former home of the five pound hot dog and the four pound rat. It had been empty for seven years and the dilapidation clearly showed. Rust peeked through what was once stainless steel and the tilt-a-whirl was one tilt away from the ground. There was no grass, and what wasn't covered in dust was covered in unnatural (and almost unearthly) gray dirt.

The booths had long been taken down and in their place stood rectangles a gray lighter than what surrounded them. Most of the rides had fallen apart and graffiti littered every available surface with more than a few proclaiming that Martha and Henry would be together forever. The land was so unfit for human activity that the groundwater looked like sludge and the puddles formed from the recent rain seemed more like oil slicks than the small pools of H2O they were supposed to be.

It was a dump through and through but it was quiet. Better than that was how far it was from the city and its status as nothing more than a distant memory. No one in their right minds would stay for a day let alone a week and that made it the perfect place for two clowns on the run. It had been home to Harley and a hideout to the Joker for what, if you asked him, was a while. Two weeks, three days, five hours, and twenty minutes if you asked Harley. It was dark by the time he got back to the park.

:) J (:

"Harls I'm home!"

Where the hell was she? I mean it's not like I want to be tackled by a blonde ball of energy as soon as I walk in but a man gets used to certain things after a while. Like happy squeaks and bear hugs coupled with a smile. I decided to wait a minute to see if she'd show herself but even after the minute she still hadn't showed. "Harley I just came in the door!" but instead of the light and quick steps I was expecting I heard only silence. Now it didn't matter where she was.

No one keeps me waiting, especially harlequins who don't know how to properly shower me with the adoration I deserve. Who did she think she was leaving me all alone after a hard day's work? All I wanted was a little love, a little respect. I mean honestly was that really too much to ask. It's not and when I find Harley I'm going to make sure she never forgets. Not for the first time I found myself hating the human resources office that Harley had insisted we use instead of the house of mirrors like I wanted. After she saw the ones that made you look fat and sleeping on broken glass is bad for the skin.

By my watch it's been five minutes and that's five too long to be searching for someone who's supposed to be at my beck and call. Why am I searching for her anyway? This brought me up short. After some deliberation I decided that it was because I was hungry. What's the point in cooking for yourself when you have someone who's supposed to do it for you? I'm hungry and I'm tired of searching so I had better find her before my patience runs out completely. For her sake it had better be soon.

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It's been an hour.

I gave up searching thirty minutes ago and Harls still hasn't shown. She's never been gone this long before so where is she? I'm not hungry anymore and to top it off I'm bored. I'm sure she'll pop up eventually. Still it isn't like her to just up and vanish without even a note. Even if she went to go visit the plant she'd tell me. She'll pop up eventually and I'll forgive her and everything will be fine. All this kindness is draining and some fun is in order. Since Harls isn't here I can finally give the House of Mirrors my full attention.

All the glass from her little "episode" was gone when I entered so I figured I hadn't done anything bad enough for her to leave if she bothered to clean it at all. Something was still off though and I continued to walk absorbed in thought until I realized what it was. There was a noise I couldn't place. It was coming from everywhere and sounded like a cross between a kicked puppy and a crying child. Only one person can sound like that and I kept walking until, rounding a corner, I found her.

She couldn't see me but I could see her. Neatly laid out according to size were pieces of glass and all but one had their tip stained red. Crisscrossing her stomach were lines, some of them fresh others already scabbed over. They were recent. I had to give her credit, she put them the one place I would never look. Steeping out into the open I said, "Alright Harls enough is enough. Come inside now". Instead of the usual affirmative and I received a glassy stare aimed at no one. Mechanically she reached out and grabbed the last clean shard and poised to cut again.

"Harley I said enough!"

She stopped dead. Her eyes began to focus and I took it as a good sign until she locked eyes with me. They'd darkened and weren't the baby blue that I remembered or wanted to see. They were more dangerous and wild than I'd ever seen them and they wouldn't let me go.

"Do you love me?"

_Why did she have to sound so hurt?_

"Harley I don't have time for whatever game you're playing. I'll only say it one more time, get inside now!"

Slowly she tilted the glass until the tip was pressed against her stomach.

"Not until you answer me."

_She was always so vulnerable; so easy to break._

"Harley just come inside."

She pressed harder. I could see a bead of blood appear. It grew round and heavy before falling to the floor without a sound. She started to cry again and I could tell that these were tears of pain. Hadn't I caused enough to know? She was going to hurt herself if she kept going so I did the only thing I could think of. I slapped her. She dropped the glass but her eyes never left mine. Her lips parted to speak but before she could ask me again she slumped and fainted.

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It was morning and I was in the kitchen when she walked in. I could tell she remembered what happened last night because she didn't speak. She didn't need to when she had her traveling bag with her. She looked at me and I glared back, neither of us blinking or backing down. I knew what she wanted but she wasn't going to get it. She took a step toward the door and when she saw that I wasn't going to stop her she left. She was long gone before I replied.

_It all could have been so different._

"Yes," I whispered to a park filled with no one.


End file.
